Building Authentic Relationships

I have been on a happy hiatus from blogging. My husband and I had the blessing of getting to adopt a baby girl! We are so in love with her and she is absolutely adorable.

I say this because part of this life event ties back to my position as an instructional coach. I am fortunate to be in a position where I can get to know all of the teachers and staff at my school and I have had several opportunities to work on district-wide projects. As I navigate my different roles, I work hard to build authentic relationships. I am a people-oriented person, as many educators are just by the nature of our chosen profession. However, at times I wonder what kind of impact does this have on others? Do my colleagues know how much I care for their success and how much respect I have for their hard work?

With the arrival of our daughter came an outpouring of love and happiness from our colleagues, past and present. It was such a beautiful feeling that I will remember for the rest of my life. Our colleagues, whom I would also call friends, met our daughter, showered her with gifts and love, sent us messages of happiness, exclaimed their excitement for us in person – you name it, the love and kindness happened.

This reminded me of the power and importance of building authentic relationships. This life experience was a great reminder, and encouragement, to keep pressing on and invest in the lives around me.

How do I do this? Whether I’m working with beginning or experienced teachers, I take the time to get to know them. I find out their interests, their goals, why they chose education and learn about them as a whole person. I build trust so that they can take risks in the classroom and learn from their risks. I keep a close eye on my mentees so that I know when they need notes of affirmation and/or encouragement. I send gifts or cards or messages for birthdays and holidays. I invite colleagues over to my house and host dinner with crafts or games or to just simply socialize. I help introduce new teachers to each other and help them build friendships. I do random acts of kindness at school, sometimes anonymously. I find out each person’s appreciation language and make efforts to “speak” to them in their language. I try to notice when others are “speaking” to me in their love language and I appreciate their efforts. I make eye contact and put aside distractions when colleagues speak to me. I assume good will and find the best in others. I also keep healthy boundaries, which are just as important.

So, as an instructional coach, I work hard to build authentic relationships. Sometimes it’s just a natural habit and paves the way to successful working relationships. But when a huge life event happens and so many are so excited, it causes one to reflect on the why. And this is why I wrote this particular blog. To offer up some advice and encouragement on the impact you have, can have and do have on all of the amazing educators you have the opportunity to work with. As coaches, we keep up to date on the latest research-based best practices, we share what we learn and we navigate how to best help others. Why? I know my reasons. To help others be the best they can be, help them reach their goals or at least get them in that direction. To share in their success without selfish ambition or feelings of entitlement. I truly relish in the opportunity to meet others where they are and help them along their path. It’s one of my personal goals in life. And I am forever grateful that I was able to see some of the fruit of my labor. Sometimes reflecting on the impact we can make will give you the energy to keep pressing on. Especially on a day like today, the first day back after a lovely maternity leave.